dating vs a relationship - Keeping options open dating
Maureen and Cassie could not be more different as people, but they both have the agonizing problem of finding a man who absolutely adores them after less than one month of one-on-one coaching.Immediately, our conversations turn from, “Why are there no good men out there?!
Remember what it’s like when a guy’s excited about you? ”, you’re not making him feel too good in the present.
He calls, he follows through, he’s thoughtful, he’s chivalrous, he’s gentlemanly, he WANTS a commitment with you. Anything you do to amp up the pressure for him to make a decision is just going to drive him away – the exact OPPOSITE reaction you want from your man. My wife was ALWAYS in the present and that’s why she’s my wife.
Because of their own fear – of being abandoned, of being not-good-enough, of being too old, too rigid, too masculine – they seriously ran the risk of alienating their new men.
Until I reminded them of a core principle in “Why He Disappeared”: men do what they want to do. If we want to introduce you to our family, we’ll introduce you to our family.
” to “How can I calm down and make sure I don’t ruin it with this great guy?
” Both of them, unfortunately, had it quite backwards.
“Doing something” means you’re trying to keep your emotional tether alive, to nudge him into calling you, seeing you, committing to you.
But the great thing about men is this: We don’t need to be nudged!
It’s not about finding out in week 1 whether he wants to live in the city or the country, or hoping he says “I love you” by week 4. The RIGHT guy steps up to the plate and commits to you in the first couple of months. It’s REALLY easy to tell the difference so you don’t invest more than 8 weeks in a relationship that’s a dead-end. As always, the person with the most power in a relationship is the one who cares the least.