(You can tell if you attend such a church, because if you mention a young man to the women at church, the first or second thing they will ask about him is if he is a Christian. It sounds like CO Springs has a pretty great Christian singles dating scene. Just kidding, of course…but I’ve been a little discouraged this weekend.If you say “no” or “I don’t know,” they will immediately advise you never to date a nonbeliever.) But – are you doomed to zero dates over the course of a decade or more, potentially turning down a number of men just because they swore in front of you? I’ll be turning 33 years old this week, and I haven’t ever been on a first date as an adult, let alone a 2nd date.

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I’m not sure what the equivalent advice for guys is, but I’m guessing it’s some combination of never looking at porn, confessing your boners to other men, and praying and averting your eyes when you feel temptation.

Also, praising God for redeeming the precious young women in the group who had been deceived by men who only wanted to use them for sex.

As a good Christian, you do not troll bars, and if, on the off-chance, you happen to go to a bar with some friends (where you feel very uncomfortable), you are DEFINITELY not there to meet men, because good men don’t go to bars – especially not to bars with the goal of meeting chicks, because everyone knows that girls who go to bars are trampy sluts – and a marriage-worthy Christian man would NEVER look for wife material at a bar – and so you know going in that you have already written off every man in the bar, full stop.

So you go through some very long dry spells where the most male attention you get is from a 44-year-old church creeper from the singles group, but there’s a kind of cute guy at work who probably is not a Christian, and you know this because he sometimes drops the F-bomb, but he’s nice to you and you think that sometimes he’s sort of flirting with you, and after a while you start wondering…….would it really hurt so much to go on a date with a non-Christian??

When you’re in high school, or even college, this seems like pretty solid advice.

For girls, you are advised to keep holding out for that ambitious young man who loves Jesus and is a spiritual leader and material provider who will love you sacrificially and be a good father to your children whom you will raise in the faith, trusting God every step of the way as this young man challenges you to grow in your faith and prays for you to love Jesus even more as you have your couple devotions which he leads.

Why not spend some time getting to know someone else? The two positions, as far as I can tell, are irreconcilable.

If you go to a church full of The Bible Says-ers, you will be frowned upon if word gets out that you went out with a non-Jesus-lover. And I feel despair when I read comments like this one from Montana Moxie at Boundless: I enjoyed listening to the panel discussion on 2nd dates.

For those of us who have grown up in the church, probably the cardinal rule of dating that is hammered home again and again and AGAIN is to never date an unbeliever.