More often the abandoned spouse prays and prays but the abandoning spouse reacts callously. They don’t want to face the guilt of their wrongdoing. It means that sometimes God works directly on a person’s heart in ways beyond human understanding, and sometimes He uses other methodologies. Before giving up on a straying spouse, it would behoove you to ask, “Is my spouse a bad person doing a bad thing, or a good person doing a bad thing? However, if at heart they are good people, they are worth rescuing.

They seek any counsel, from Christians or otherwise, that empathizes with their position and gives any encouragement whatsoever. It’s your choice, of course, and you can tell your straying spouse to leave and never return.

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When you asked questions, the answers seemed a little too slick and too rehearsed. Refuse to cooperate and you will find yourself in a bloody legal battle.

Sometimes your questions hit harder and your spouse reacted with anger or sarcasm, telling you that you’re paranoid. Maybe your spouse cajoled, or threatened, in a concerted effort to keep you from telling anyone what was happening.

They found themselves listening to how terrible it is to be married to you, or how hypocritical they were to tell someone else to do right.

They might even have heard the startling news that God Himself sent the lover and that He wants them to be together. The fact is that even in these situations a possibility exists that the marriage can be saved and, with time, made good again.

My faith in people has been strengthened by experiencing God intervening in lives even when a person wanted God to leave him or her alone to do what they wanted to do.

A straying partner who has convinced him- herself that life will be wonderful with the new person seldom decides that before he or she leaves they should take one more run at saving the marriage.You thought that you were imagining things, being insecure in thinking your spouse had someone else.Then you began to vacillate, worrying that you must be right but telling yourself that surely you aren’t.If you suspected a particular person, your spouse reassured you that there was nothing going on and that this person is a friend…maybe even your friend…and it wasn’t fair to think that about them. Eventually, your mate told you that it’s over between the two of you. He or she did everything possible to keep you from going to your church leaders, their boss, your family, your in-laws, and maybe even your best friend.Finally, you made the discovery that your spouse did have someone else. Maybe you checked the cell phone bill, read emails, found a note or letter in a pocket or purse, or, even worse, someone saw them and told you about it. Secrecy helped them, not you, but because you thought there might be a chance to keep him or her calm and possibly stop this nightmare, you allowed yourself to be manipulated.Though highly involved in their church, she had gotten too close to another member and that had gradually led to adultery. By the time they realized they were on the wrong path, they were so enmeshed with each other that they were convinced that the best thing for everyone – spouses, children, church – was to divorce their spouses and marry each other.