People all over the autism spectrum have relationships which run the gamut, from friends-with-benefits arrangements to long and happy marriages.

When we see people in person, we process those signs and signals so quickly that we don’t realize that we’ve gone through a checklist. Your attitude literally bleeds into everything you do, in ways that you don’t think about.

We just know “Yes, I’m attracted to that person” or “No, I’m not”. An amazing actor can pull this off for a little while. It affects how you talk to people, the way you perceive the world and how you interact with it. And like Binary Sunset, this is a theme that’s going to be recurring throughout your letter.

And while, yes, we are dealing with the consequences of the paradox of choice when it comes to dating, that’s something that affects men and women.

Which means – say it with me now: this isn’t an example of female privilege.

My one girlfriend when I was 16 is now happily married.

There was also a girl i was infatuated with a few years ago – she’s married now as well. But you’re creating a narrative of helplessness that simply .

So scrub up and snap on the gloves; it’s time to get all up in them guts.

Doctor Nerd Love, I need your advice to get me out of a very negative mindset.

Sometimes the answer is more nuanced than normal or requires cutting through a Gordian knot of related issues.

But, occasionally, I’ll get a letter from a reader that requires a deeper and more thorough dive than the usual request for advice.

You weren’t required to see them again; you didn’t dig them and that was the end of that.